I have some big ideas brewing these days. Being 40-something isn’t nearly as scary as when I was helping to decorate everything black for my dad’s over-the-hill party decades ago. I’m having an honest-to-goodness blast coming into this age and the inner wisdom that comes with it. As I mentioned in a recent Instagram post, I feel more ready than ever to share my truest self with the world.
But here’s a block that comes up: Narcissism feels like the word-of-the-day right now.
Let’s clarify something. Self-image is the way you see yourself; how you interpret and think about yourself, the opinion you hold of yourself. Having a really healthy and positive self-image of yourself is not the same as being narcissistic.
When you are a narcissist, you think highly of yourself and low of other people. You’re saying “I’m better than you.” It’s loving yourself at the expense of others. It’s about self-importance, about feeling entitled to excessive admiration, about being and wanting to be recognized as superior.
Positive self-image, however, is about saying:
“I’m worthy, I’m 100% lovable, I’m amazing… and so are you. My worthiness doesn’t come from being better than you. My worthiness comes from being fully me.” (Thank you, Brooke Castillo!)
In a social media world, it’s easy to suggest everyone’s narcissistic. It’s easy to see a selfie as the devil’s work. But I’ve got a re-frame for ya, kids – we’re all awesome, and we all have the right to believe that we’re awesome.
You’re funny if you think you are (ever caught laughing at yourself?). You’re beautiful and strong and intelligent and inspirational… if you smile and agree to it.
The more we love ourselves, the more we’re able to contribute to others.
So if you see me snapping a selfie or [HINT HINT] starting my own podcast, get ready, because it means I’m determined to contribute BIG.