I was just blogging earlier in the week about how I’m such a Gemini. There are things I heard about Geminis VERY early on in my childhood, and I absolutely agreed with them. Or did I? Did I instead become that person over time as I heard the traits I was meant to have, reported daily in my newspaper horoscope (remember that?)
I’m going to get very vulnerable in this post, and then I’m going to ask you to join me…
Here are just five of the beliefs I have about myself:
- I’m so busy: I’ve been known to [very recently] say that sleep is boring, and I’d rather be getting sh*t done. I have a horrible time doing nothing, so I take up knitting or start new hobbies with any free moment I have. I’ve made this my identity and kept the momentum, and yet it’s not actually what I’d choose for myself. Am I leaning on this belief to avoid being left out of future plans? To save myself the hurt of not feeling loved or included?
- I’m a procrastinator/perfectionist. Self explanatory, but this podcast has been intense therapy lately. Is this truly who I am, or am I simply afraid of failure in my work? Will I not be loved if I do it wrong? Am I afraid I won’t be needed any longer once the work is done? I always think my father leaving me at age 3 had no ill affect (particularly because a great dad stepped in!), but signs point to yes.
- I’m “big-boned”: I always heard this as a kid and believed it to be true. I’ve forever been just 15-20 pounds overweight. In the past year, though, I took the law-of-attraction/manifestation approach to heart: “what would it look – and more importantly feel like – if I were skinny?” I found myself on the elliptical or running (not unusual) and actually letting myself FEEL a thin waist and easy fit to my clothing (unusual). This one has a happy ending because The Plant Paradox soon came into my life and I was able to drop 20 pounds in a way that truly connected for me. Thank you, universe!
- I have a black thumb: When it comes to house plants, this one feels verrry true to me, gotta be honest. So, I’m digging into some helpful resources and putting my new learning to the test. Am I self-sabotaging before I even begin? What would it look like if I were excellent with plant life? I look forward to reporting back on this one, with photos of me surrounded by leafy greens!
- I’m a world traveler: This has been true since the day I met Paula Abdul at a mall in Paris (8th grade). I love all travel and cultures. But when much of this was recently removed with my new role at work, I took it as a personal hit to my worth. If I’m not a world traveler, who am I? I’ve let my passport define my success in a way – no thanks to the glow of Instagram. Truthfully, I’m pretty psyched to be home in New England at this point in my life.
What are some ways that you define yourself? Were those things ever true? Are they still true today? Do you WANT them to be true?
Do you tell yourself that you can or cannot do something, without having actually really tried? Are you making assumptions? What would it look like if the opposite was in fact true?